Wow, I used to post on this blog almost daily from seventh-tenth grade.
Looking back at my earliest blog, everything is so cringe worth. I was so obsessed with emo, vampires and bands. It's hilarious and makes me want to delete every single post on this blog. But, I won't. Maybe I'll look back on this someday and laugh. That someday might be tomorrow.
In my last daily(ish) post most of them where about One Direction. Even though I can't escape them on the internet, they aren't something I have thought about really in three years.
Looking back at these post, it makes me sad how much I used to love things. I don't love like that anymore. I don't get excited about fanfiction or boybands. I used to love things with such a passion. Reading old posts has made me realized that even though I haven't noticed, I have grown up.
Of course somethings never change. I still spend outrageous amounts of time on the internet. I still read and write. I still love "emo" bands (something I don't think I'll ever leave behind).
What brought my looking back, was my adult debate of getting a tattoo. I want to get the logo of my favorite book (of two years) tattooed somewhere.
But there was a point when I wanted a Vladimir Tod tattoo and One Direction tattoo and a Twilight tattoo and a Vampire Diaries tattoo.
I do not love things the way I used to when I was thirteen or fourteen or fifteen. But, maybe I don't need to. I don't need fandoms and fanfictions and things to hide behind and make myself feel whole. I don't need those things to help me escape.
All those people that say things get better, they do.
One day you will graduate high school and get a job and have a new start in college. And the only thing you'll have left from days when getting lost in books and bands seemed like the only non-harmful thing to do, will be blog posts.
